Bill Scheft

Bill Scheft, a 15-time Emmy-nominated writer for David Letterman, is the author of two previous novels, The Ringer and Time Won't Let Me, which was a finalist for the 2006 Thurber Prize for American Humor. He has also written for the The New Yorker, The New York Times, Esquire and Sports Illustrated. He lives in New York City with his wife, comedian Adrianne Tolsch.

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My Life in 8 Words

Author Revealed

Q. What is your motto or maxim?

A. If you ever forget you're a Jew, a gentile will remind you.

Q. If you could acquire any talent, what would it be?

A. Play the piano, speak fluent Spanish

Q. If you could meet any historical character, who would it be and what would you say to him or her?

A. I would love to meet Philip Roth and ask him why he didn't take the alter ego concept to its logical conclusion and publish "Carnovsky" by Nathan Zuckerman.

Short of that, I wouldn't mind asking Darrell Johnson why he put Jim Burton in to pitch the ninth in Game Seven of the 1975 World Series when Jim Willoughby had plenty left.

Q. Who is your favorite fictional villain?

A. "Buffalo Bill" Bittinger, played to the hilt for two too short seasons by Dabney Coleman

Q. If you could be any person or thing, who or what would it be?

A. Younger