Authors > George Carlin

George Carlin
Photograph © Robert Sebree/Pretty Ugly

George Carlin

Born in New York City in 1937, George Dennis Patrick Carlin was one of the greatest and most influential stand-up comedians of all time. He appeared on “The Tonight Show” more than 130 times, starred in an unprecedented 14 HBO Specials, hosted the first “Saturday Night Live” and penned three New York Times bestselling books. Of the 23 solo albums recorded by Mr. Carlin, 11 were Grammy nominated and he took home the coveted statue five times including a 2001 Grammy win for Best Spoken Comedy Album for his reading of his best seller Brain Droppings. In 2002, Carlin was awarded the “Freedom of Speech Award” by the First Amendment Center in cooperation... Read full bio

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Nov 10, 2009
Last Words will be released on November 10, 2009 in eBook, eAudio
Nov 10, 2009
Last Words is now available in eBook, eAudio
Nov 10, 2009
Last Words will be released on November 10, 2009 in Compact Disk
Nov 10, 2009
Last Words will be released on November 10, 2009 in Hardcover, Compact Disk, eAudio
Nov 10, 2009
Last Words is now available in Hardcover, Compact Disk, eAudio
Nov 10, 2009
Last Words is now available in Compact Disk
Nov 10, 2009
Audio Excerpt:
Last Words
Nov 03, 2009
Excerpt:
Chapter 1 from Last Words
Oct 22, 2009
Oct 15, 2009

Authors on the Web

Delaware Online, November 15, 2009
...host Larry King's 'My Remarkable Journey.'• Actress Mary Tyler Moore's 'Growing Up Again.'• Comedian George Carlin's 'Last Words,' published after his death.• Actress Carrie Fisher's 'Wishful Drinking.'• Singer Marie Osmond's 'Might As Well Laugh...
Boston Globe, November 15, 2009
...Night: The Tumultuous Birth of South Africa, by Dominique Lapierre (Da Capo)   Last Words: A Memoir, by George Carlin (Free Press)   The Art of a Beautiful Game: The Thinking Fans Tour of the NBA, by Chris Ballard (Simon & Schuster) Pick of the week...
Associated Content, November 12, 2009
...and to speak freely about how they saw the world around them. Many other artists like Eric Bogosian, George Carlin, and Bill Hicks look up to him as a huge inspiration in what they do. Of all the books on this list, 'How To Talk Dirty and Influence People...
Amherst Daily News, November 10, 2009
...In 1987, when he was 50 years old, George Carlin decided the time had come for an autobiography from the groundbreaking comedian who had famously said "The Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television." Five years later...
MSN Entertainment, November 10, 2009
..."Last Words" (Free Press, 297 pages, $26.99), by George Carlin, with Tony Hendra: In 1987, when he was 50 years old, George Carlin decided the time had come for an autobiography from the groundbreaking comedian who had famously said...
Huffington Post, October 26, 2009
...broadside. On just about every page, you'll find a pithy, pointed barb worthy of the late great George Carlin." - Tony Hendra (National Lampoon, Father Joe) Follow Jeff Kreisler on Twitter: www.twitter.com/jeffkreisler...
Selma Enterprise, October 19, 2009
...jokes? A All the time; it's cathartic! Q Favorite comedian? A Red Skelton -- a great mime; George Carlin -- so witty; Jeff Foxworthy -- I lived in Oklahoma for four years. Q What do you want for Christmas? A I love tech stuff, but mostly to hang...
Time, October 8, 2009
...sure. But there's no reason why I wouldn't. It's part of our speech. 
 See George Carlin's top 10 funniest lines.
...
Huffington Post, October 1, 2009
...broadside. On just about every page, you'll find a pithy, pointed barb worthy of the late great George Carlin." - Tony Hendra (National Lampoon, Father Joe) This Blogger's Books from Get Rich Cheating: The Crooked Path to Easy Street by Jeff Kreisler...
PR-USA.net, September 28, 2009
...101' and 'To Be a Liberal.' He has played clubs across the country, and shared the stage with George Carlin, Bill Maher, Dennis Miller and k.d. lang. During his interview on Sound Authors, Roy talked about the things that inspire him, and some of the...
1888PressRelease, September 26, 2009
...101' and 'To Be a Liberal.' He has played clubs across the country, and shared the stage with George Carlin, Bill Maher, Dennis Miller and k.d. lang. During his interview on Sound Authors, Roy talked about the things that inspire him, and some of the...
Broadway World, September 24, 2009
...October 11 12:30 - Dale O'Dell's sixth book, 'Photographic Memories,' reads like a blend of George Carlin's Brain Droppings and Susan Sontag's On Photography. Photographic Memories is a collection of articles, essays and commentary on the subject of...
Buffalo News, September 13, 2009
...the Pooh? and Douglas Adams? ?Hitchhiker?s Guide to the Galaxy?; the posthumous completion of a memoir by George Carlin and of a Robert Jordan novel, ?The Gathering Storm,? the first of a planned trilogy that will wrap up his ?Wheel of...
Patriot Ledger, September 11, 2009
...the Pooh? and Douglas Adams? ?Hitchhiker?s Guide to the Galaxy?; the posthumous completion of a memoir by George Carlin and of a Robert Jordan novel, ?The Gathering Storm,? the first of a planned trilogy that will wrap up his ?Wheel of...
Brockton Enterprise, September 11, 2009
...the Pooh? and Douglas Adams? ?Hitchhiker?s Guide to the Galaxy?; the posthumous completion of a memoir by George Carlin and of a Robert Jordan novel, ?The Gathering Storm,? the first of a planned trilogy that will wrap up his ?Wheel of...
Keene Sentinel, September 6, 2009
...conveys his outrage with stammering befuddlement. Unlike other comics whose acts have seen success in book form ? George Carlin?s ?Brain Droppings,? for instance ? Cross? humor seems to be transcripts of frustrated conversations with stupid...
TH Online, September 6, 2009
...the Pooh' and Douglas Adams' 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'; the posthumous completion of a memoir by George Carlin and of a Robert Jordan novel, 'The Gathering Storm,' the first of a planned trilogy that will wrap up his 'Wheel of Time' series....
Lower Hudson Online, September 1, 2009
...Winnie the Pooh' and Douglas Adams' 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the the posthumous completion of a memoir by George Carlin and of a Robert Jordan novel, 'The Gathering Storm,' the first of a planned trilogy that will wrap up his 'Wheel of Time' series....
Miami Herald, August 30, 2009
...the Pooh and Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; the posthumous completion of a memoir by George Carlin and of a Robert Jordan novel, The Gathering Storm, the first of a planned trilogy that will wrap up his ''Wheel of Time'' series....
Daily Gleaner, August 29, 2009
...the Pooh and Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; the posthumous completion of a memoir by George Carlin and of a Robert Jordan novel, The Gathering Storm, the first of a planned trilogy that will wrap up his Wheel of Time series...
Columbus Dispatch, August 29, 2009
...Feeney Callan ⢠Oct. 27: The Gathering Storm, Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson ⢠Nov. 10: Last Words, George Carlin ⢠Nov. 17: The Original of Laura, Vladimir Nabokov ⢠Nov. 24: Pirate Latitudes, Michael Crichton...
Columbus Dispatch, August 29, 2009
...Feeney Callan ⢠Oct. 27: The Gathering Storm, Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson ⢠Nov. 10: Last Words, George Carlin ⢠Nov. 17: The Original of Laura, Vladimir Nabokov ⢠Nov. 24: Pirate Latitudes, Michael Crichton...
Daily News Journal, August 28, 2009
...the Pooh' and Douglas Adams' 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'; the posthumous completion of a memoir by George Carlin and of a Robert Jordan novel, 'The Gathering Storm,' the first of a planned trilogy that will wrap up his 'Wheel of Time' series....
Q 107, August 26, 2009
...the Pooh' and Douglas Adams' 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'; the posthumous completion of a memoir by George Carlin and of a Robert Jordan novel, 'The Gathering Storm,' the first of a planned trilogy that will wrap up his 'Wheel of Time' series....
Am1220.ca, August 26, 2009
...the Pooh' and Douglas Adams' 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'; the posthumous completion of a memoir by George Carlin and of a Robert Jordan novel, 'The Gathering Storm,' the first of a planned trilogy that will wrap up his 'Wheel of Time' series....
Detroit News, August 24, 2009
...the Pooh' and Douglas Adams' 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'; the posthumous completion of a memoir by George Carlin and of a Robert Jordan novel, 'The Gathering Storm,' the first of a planned trilogy that will wrap up his 'Wheel of Time' series....
Boston Globe, August 24, 2009
...the Pooh' and Douglas Adams' 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'; the posthumous completion of a memoir by George Carlin and of a Robert Jordan novel, 'The Gathering Storm,' the first of a planned trilogy that will wrap up his 'Wheel of Time' series....
Lewisboro Ledger, August 13, 2009
...the humor and irony in day-to-day life. Following the muse of Seinfeld creator Larry David and comedians like George Carlin, he has just published his first book, Shapiro?s World, taking a comedic turn on ordinary, but hilarious encounters and...
1888PressRelease, August 7, 2009
...ages howling with laughter and coming back for more. Audiences say that Barnhart reminds them of a young George Carlin with the energy and characters of Robin Williams making Don funny on so many different levels... The award winning Barnhart has shared...
Post Chronicle, July 18, 2009
...So you think you've already heard the last words coming from George Carlin. Think again. Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, said on Tuesday that the comedian's book 'Last Words' will be published this November. The comedy great died...
Knox News Sentinel, July 17, 2009
...NEW YORK -- Some final thoughts are coming from George Carlin. Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, said Tuesday that the comedian's book 'Last Words' will be published in November. Carlin died in June 2008 at age...
Post Chronicle, July 16, 2009
...So you think you've already heard the last words coming from George Carlin. Think again. Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, said on Tuesday that the comedian's book 'Last Words' will be published this November. The comedy great died...
Moose Jaw Times-Herald, July 14, 2009
...? NEW YORK - Some final thoughts are coming from George Carlin. Free Press, an imprint of Simon&Schuster, said Tuesday that the comedian's book 'Last Words' will be published in November. Carlin died in June 2008 at age 71 and...
News 1130, July 14, 2009
...NEW YORK - Some final thoughts are coming from George Carlin. Free Press, an imprint of Simon&Schuster, said Tuesday that the comedian's book 'Last Words' will be published in November. Carlin died in June 2008 at age 71 and...
USA Today, July 14, 2009
...Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, said Tuesday that the comedian's book Last Words will be published in November. Carlin died in June 2008 at age 71 and worked on the book for the last decade of his life. He collaborated on it with author and...
MSNBC, July 14, 2009
...NEW YORK - Some final thoughts are coming from George Carlin. Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, said Tuesday that the comedian's book 'Last Words' will be published in November. Carlin died in June 2008 at age...
Chicago Tribune, July 9, 2009
...it to a local medical school to help future doctors, nurses and other health practitioners. The late comedian George Carlin joked in one of his HBO specials that cemeteries could be used to build housing for the homeless and that it made no sense to save...
Chicago Tribune, July 9, 2009
...it to a local medical school to help future doctors, nurses and other health practitioners. The late comedian George Carlin joked in one of his HBO specials that cemeteries could be used to build housing for the homeless and that it made no sense to save...
Canada Free Press, July 5, 2009
...women to nothing more than cheap sex objects. Paul Ibbetson Bio ?Save the whales, save the snails!? Comedian George Carlin had it right when he talked about the audacity and craziness of some to misplace priorities on where to put a helping hand when...
San Diego Magazine, June 20, 2009
...immunity later in life. Remember John Travolta?s son, Jett? Ask John if he regrets being a germophobe. George Carlin reminded us that grownups have taken the fun out of being kids. ?You gotta let ?em go,? Carlin said. ?You gotta cut ?em...
Examiner.com, June 18, 2009
...Ace of Hearts, Ace Book's Logo Asexual dating was not one of the phrases George Carlin included in his mutually exclusive words routine. Using asexuality to refer to people who do not experience sexual attraction was not common until use of the Internet...
The Onion AV Club, June 16, 2009
...Bruce Willis (!) to 'blaze' and write out long responses as to his working methods, his relationship with George Carlin, My Boring-Ass Life, Judd Apatow, and lots more. It's a good, revealing read even for those who never knew just how big a cult Smith...
Florida Times-Union, June 9, 2009
...the Science in You' reads exactly so. It's hard to argue about that statement without sounding like George Carlin, Steven Wright or a frustrated English teacher. This book explains basic concepts by relating them to the body. For example, the first...
CHUD, June 3, 2009
...of the influence came from stand up comedy. Rhythm, timing, structure of a joke... that I learned from George Carlin, Bill Cosby, Sam Kinison, Richard Lewis?actually I would say I also learned a lot from Steve Dahl who was a radio talk show host in...
Examiner.com, May 30, 2009
...expression. Not convinced yet? Well, here?s a bit of what other like-minded people have said about Krassner: George Carlin commented that Krassner is ?dangerous?and funny, and necessary.? Tom Robbins referred to Krassner as the ?lobster claw in...
Enter Stage Right, May 26, 2009
...Various studies have found that there is no evidence that growth-oriented books actually work. As the late comedian George Carlin pointed out some years ago, if you're able to accomplish something by yourself ? armed with only a book ? chances are...
Crains NY Business, May 20, 2009
...say. According to publishing sources, the Free Press division of Simon & Schuster has paid $750,000 for George Carlin: Last Words, the autobiography of the bitingly satiric comic. Famous for his routine about the seven words you can never say on...
Post Chronicle, May 20, 2009
...be among the faithful. Across the television channels there has been a replaying and rephrasing of the late George Carlin's rant that 'Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man - living in the sky - who watches everything you...
Globe and Mail, May 9, 2009
...acting style is based on only three movies. Also airing tonight, and another blast from the past, is George Carlin: On Location (Comedy, 10 p.m.), which is Carlin's first-ever TV special, and a classic. Made in 1977 for HBO, it brought Carlin's style and...
Asylum, November 16, 2009
...Leave a Comment Required reading from the week in books . As our excerpt proved, George Carlin's final memoir, "Last Words," is just as bitingly hilarious as his stand-up. And, yes, it contains all seven words you can't say on TV -- though...
ETonline - Breaking News, November 10, 2009
...George Carlin Autobiography Out Today Copyright 2009 Simon & Schuster ET has the latest... George Carlin 's autobiography, Last Words , is in stores today. The memoir, which the comedian had been...
Desperate Teenage Kicks's MySpace Blog, October 14, 2009
...ease when I am alone...people do this...people do that..." jesus fuckin christ man to qoute George Carlin "calm down...have some dip" but his work ethic is something that really does make me want to take care of business the only problem is the fuckin...
Christopher S. Penn's Awaken Your Superhero, September 29, 2009
...the opposite of what was intended . For some reason, folks use it as a synonym for coincidence. As George Carlin pointed out, a diabetic getting hit by a truck is an accident. A diabetic getting hit by a sugar truck is poetic coincidence. A diabetic...
Elf M. Sternberg, September 29, 2009
...to be, you know, black, rather than a romance writer, a mystery writer, or a science-fiction writer (cue George Carlin’s “Where’s the surprise?” monologue).  Most of the stories I’ve written involve caucasians of American or European descent...
Publishing Insider, September 10, 2009
...being that a lot of his impact is visual…but I’m not too worried; he is our new George Carlin for his absurd takes on our absurd daily lives. He is the funniest guy around right now, in my, umm, book. And happy to see David Cross’ book on...
HELLO, my name is BLOG!, August 28, 2009
...by Jerry Seinfeld to celebrate the life – and commemorate the death – of his friend and colleague, George Carlin. “Every comedian does a little George. I couldn’t even count the number of times I’ve been George downright invented modern...
Veritas Lux Mea, August 21, 2009
...that you just might enjoy. It's sort of a cross between a GG Allin journal and a George Carlin book. Warning: mature content and lots of poo references await you.Wisconsin indie music blog featuring free mp3 downloads from today's top independent music...
Scripting News, August 20, 2009
...later, at Woodstock.)My mother accumulates things, it's her curse. She wishes she traveled lighter, in the George Carlin sense, with less baggage. She keeps shedding stuff, but then a relative dies and she ends up with another closet full of stuff that's...
Bibliophile Bullpen, August 19, 2009
...infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war. . ." Damn I miss George Carlin . . . hell I miss Hunter Thompson . . . we are alone children. . . with the monkeys running the asylum . . .where books are locked up and people...
HELLO, my name is BLOG!, August 4, 2009
...notes? 8. Make it your responsibility to go out and find things. “Constantly cast about for new material,” George Carlin suggested. Personally, I take that piece of advice literally as a writer – I go fishing. Idea fishing; that is. I drive to...
GeekLikeMe.net, August 3, 2009
...us  |  digg  |  facebook  |  stumbleupon  |  technorati  |  twitter  |  9 Clicks Thursday: July 16, 2009 George Carlin to get some additional Last Words this November. Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, said Tuesday that the...
GeekLikeMe.net, July 31, 2009
...us  |  digg  |  facebook  |  stumbleupon  |  technorati  |  twitter  |  24 Clicks Thursday: July 16, 2009 George Carlin to get some additional Last Words this November. Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, said Tuesday that the...
Econstudentlog, June 13, 2009
...freedom of speech friedman frihed frihedsrettigheder frihedsrettighederne fun Fyodor Dostoevsky game theory Garry Kasparov Georg Moltved george bush George Carlin george enescu global opvarmning global warming google ...
Mom's Journal, May 29, 2009
...Friday: Freedom of Religion (4) Monkey Butt Giving (7) 55 Flash Fiction Friday: Fear of the unknown (5) George Carlin turned us into necrophiliacs (3) Wordless Wednesday: Ed Grimley, I really must say (15...
A Progressive on the Prairie, May 23, 2009
...easy response to these threats : I don’t need your effin’ card. Life is a series of dogs. George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty...