My "Aha" Moment: How The Bum Magnet Came to Be

If you've turned 40 and had that "what do I want to be when I grow up?" panic attack, then you'll relate to why I wrote the book. If you haven't turned 40 yet, this is what you have to look forward to if you don't pursue your dreams.

I had an Oprah “aha” moment one day in the summer  of 2008. I was coming up on my fortieth birthday, feeling like I’d reached some level of success in my life, but I wasn’t really fulfilled. 
As I got to thinking about what I wanted to be when I grow up, I was watching her show when it just hit me that I wasn’t living my best life. I’d always wanted to be a writer. I’d been writing in my diaries and journals since I was maybe seven or eight years old. Although I have two degrees, I’d always let the fact that
I didn’t have a degree in English or any fiction writing experience keep me from starting. But with the fortieth birthday looming, D-Day had arrived. I pushed those negative thoughts out of my head and decided to honor this gift God gave me and write a book about a woman who took stock of her life and decided to make a major change. I wrote the book in four months and edited for or five months.


Of course, I wanted what every author wants, you know. I wanted a six-figure multi-book deal. I wanted to be on Oprah and to make my rounds on the morning show circuit. I wanted to blow kisses to my beloved fans. All that stuff. But let me tell you, the publishing industry is nothing if not a sharp dose of stark reality for most authors.

After querying my book to literary agents all over the country and getting rejection after rejection after rejection, doubting myself and my writing ability, listening to people tell me, “You need to put this book in a drawer and start the next one,” I had a come-to-Jesus moment and I had to decide who was I writing for. Was I writing for the publishing industry? Was I writing for other authors? Or was I writing because I loved writing and had a story to share?

I realized I was writing because I love writing and telling stories and making people laugh. I do feel that was God’s plan for me. So, darn the book deal. I decided to publish my book myself. And if ONE reader’s day was brightened or if they were moved by this story, that would mean I was fulfilling my purpose and God’s purpose for my writing. That has been my focus ever since. Acclaim is nothing without readers.  Acclaim for me is getting that note on Facebook or Twitter saying, “I loved this  story” or  “Your book helped me realize that I’m a bum magnet” or “I was  laughing so much my family thought I was crazy.” That’s acclaim. And I’m gonna have the same measure of success whether I sell one book or one million—my only goal is to touch a reader’s life in some positive way.

And it’s funny that in a way that only God can do, my decision to write for the love of writing is what helped my book deal (and literary agent) find me.  

The actual story came to me in an epiphany as I was reading a self-help article about dieting. I laughed to myself because I thought, "How many of these dang articles have I read?" They give you twelve steps, and the first I do in my mind is negotiate. "Well, I don't have to walk two miles a day, maybe just two blocks" or "I can eat vegetables three times a day, but I'm going to eat them with fried chicken." Yet, I still expect to lose 112 pounds.

So, I thought I'd write a story about a woman who attracts more players and goes through more break-ups than the law should allow. She knows she's in a vicious cycle. So when she happens upon this self-help article about emotional baggage and toxic men, it hits her like a lightning bolt--time for a life change. But she goes through these same "negotiating" exercises with the article, except it's not a food diet, it's a man diet. And just like a dieter that drives past the McDonald's and stops for "one little Big Mac" knowing full well she should've gone home and eaten a carrot stick, so Charisse, the main character, stops for "something else," initiating a hilarious but insightful string of events that lead her to discover why she's a bum magnet. 

And that is how The Bum Magnet came to be.