Why You Shouldn't Divorce a Polynesian Volcano Goddess
Q. If you could be any person or thing, who or what would it be?
A. Probably a penguin. For the hilarity. And I'd save a fortune on tux rentals during wedding season.
Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?
A. That ABC hasn't cast me as the next Bachelor yet.
Q. If you could acquire any talent, what would it be?
A. Surfing, brah.
Q. What 3 personal qualities are most important to you?
A. Loyalty, a sense of humor, and the ability to teleport.