Q. What’s your fantasy profession?
A. My fantasy profession is being a successful writer. It's a remarkably vivid fantasy --- I even imagine that my novels are on bookshelves. I'm considering stalking myself, but I don't know if I really can commit the time and effort.
Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?
A. My favorite pet pea is the Fruit of the Loom pea in his green felt costume. I love those guys!
Q. How would you describe perfect happiness?
A. This is a question for beauty contestants, isn't it, and I'm supposed to say world peace. However, if that's not possible, then I'd be thrilled with a cup holder for my car. I frequently yearn for a latte, but all attempts to transport one from the cafe to my home have proved disastrous. I also have ideas about cloning my dead dog. I saw part of that Stephen King movie about the dog that comes back to life, so I'm apprehensive about trying the U-Kan-Clone! kit that I bought from an infomercial. What was the question again?
Q. If you could acquire any talent, what would it be?
A. Just one? Speaking Esperanto, in case we achieve world peace and want to communicate with a common language.