New from Simon & Schuster

Author Revealed

Revealing Questions

Q. How would you describe your life in only 8 words?

A. Tripping, falling, flying.

Q. What is your motto or maxim?

A. Fuck yeah.

Q. How would you describe perfect happiness?

A. Zero urgency and open road.

Q. What’s your greatest fear?

A. Stupid people.

Q. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you choose to be?

A. I have chosen, and I am there right now.

Q. With whom in history do you most identify?

A. A mix between Benjamin Franklin, Mary Magdalene and Lenny Bruce.

Q. Which living person do you most admire?

A. Too many to name. Basically people who work to better this world despite ridicule, alienation and threats of violence.

Q. What are your most overused words or phrases?

A. I have terrible potty mouth, so you go ahead and imagine the worst, and you'll almost be right.

Q. What do you regret most?

A. Most things I've ever done in order to be cool or tough, instead of being open and genuine, have led to disappointments.

Q. If you could acquire any talent, what would it be?

A. Gardening.

Q. What is your greatest achievement?

A. So far, I'd say getting the Royal Albert Hall to form a massive conga line, and also writing a book.

Q. What’s your greatest flaw?

A. My vanity.

Q. What’s your best quality?

A. My empathy.

Q. If you could be any person or thing, who or what would it be?

A. Right here right now, and the me I'm striving to become. Or a werewolf.

Q. What trait is most noticeable about you?

A. My volume.

Q. Who is your favorite fictional hero?

A. Me as a ninja.

Q. Who is your favorite fictional villain?

A. Gretchen Lowell

Q. If you could meet any historical character, who would it be and what would you say to him or her?

A. Jesus Christ. I would ask him to get super specific about his messages. Particularly the part about people coming in his name, trying to manipulate and control others for greedy gains. Then I'd apologize for the shitty rock music people call Christian Rock.

Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?

A. Stupid, lazy people.

Q. What is your favorite occupation, when you’re not writing?

A. Singing and talking smack.

Q. What’s your fantasy profession?

A. Chef, Superhero, Hospice.

Q. What 3 personal qualities are most important to you?

A. Positivity, Sense of humor, Passion.

Q. If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your days, what would it be?

A. Indulgence in any one thing for too long makes anything gross. But if I could have fresh yummy veggies every day forever, I will be happy.

Q. What are your 5 favorite songs?

A. Totally unfair question. Impossible to answer...I have a new favorite song every day.

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