Q. How would you describe your life in only 8 words?
A. I write. I complain. I parent. I sleep.
Q. What is your motto or maxim?
A. Being bitter is not such a bad thing.
Q. How would you describe perfect happiness?
A. Who am I? The Dalai Lama? Sheesh. Actually, I have many ways to describe perfect happiness (and none of them have anything to do with achieving inner peace or letting go of old resentments) : a solid nine hours sleep, finishing a good first draft, selling my writing for cash money, making my seven-year-old laugh so hard she begs me to stop, warm brownies, new jeans, obsessively watching a television series with my husband (Buffy, Veronica Mars, Battlestar Galactica, the first couple seasons of Lost), seeing someone who's wronged me get their due, coming up with the perfect comeback, bantering, knowing I'm right in an argument and being able to prove it, playing with puppies. I think that just about covers it.
Q. What’s your greatest fear?
A. Death. Duh.
Q. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you choose to be?
A. Paris. Duh.
Q. What are your most overused words or phrases?
A. "I mean, right?" "Y'know..." "Totally." "Annoying." "Oh. My. God." (Wow. This is depressing. This makes me sound like a Valley Girl. I am a girl. I do live in the Valley. So...like... totally.)
Q. What do you regret most?
A. Not figuring out sooner what exactly it was that I loved to do that I could also make money doing.
Q. If you could acquire any talent, what would it be?
A. Playing electric guitar.
Q. What is your greatest achievement?
A. I have three: Picking a perfect partner in my husband. Raising my daughter to be a delightful human being. Being able to earn my living as a writer.
Q. What’s your greatest flaw?
Q. What’s your best quality?
A. Fast thinking. Good listening. Large vocabulary.
Q. If you could be any person or thing, who or what would it be?
A. Myself, but richer. And taller. And immortal.
Q. What trait is most noticeable about you?
A. My sharp wit.
Q. Who is your favorite fictional hero?
A. The Boy Who Lived.
Q. Who is your favorite fictional villain?
Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Q. What is your favorite occupation, when you’re not writing?
A. Watching television.
Q. What’s your fantasy profession?
A. Getting paid to write down my snarky thoughts and feelings on a variety of topics. Oh. I'm doing that.
Q. What 3 personal qualities are most important to you?
A. Self-awareness. The ability to articulate feelings. Good fashion sense.
Q. If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your days, what would it be?
A. Pizza (but with an endless variety of toppings, so I wouldn't get bored).
Q. What are your 5 favorite songs?
A. The Way I Am (Ingrid Michaelson), I'm Gonna Make You Love Me (Jayhawks), Nothing'severgonnastandinmyway(Again) (Wilco), Not Ready to Make Nice (Dixie Chicks), The Luckiest (Ben Folds)