Stuff
Interview with Virginia DeBerry
Interview with Virginia DeBerry
Interview with Virginia DeBerry
A Conversation with Virginia DeBerry & Donna Grant, authors of What Doesn't Kill You
The title of this novel is borrowed from a classic adage, as in many of your other books, including Tryin’ to Sleep in the Bed You Made, Gotta Keep On Tryin’ and Far from the Tree. Why do you use expressions to title your books? Do you seek to reinvent them and make them relevant to our current lives?
We like expressions because they are familiar—whatever walk of life you’re from—and the words are always wise and sum up a situation perfectly. Of course most of us don’t realize that until we experience that 20/20 hindsight for ourselves.
What Doesn’t Kill You reads like a proclamation of independence. Although it’s carried out by a woman, it seems like an important lesson for anyone—the lesson of living and working for your self-satisfaction. How do you feel that you’ve learned that lesson in your own lives? Are your careers as writers part of that self-discovery?
We think self-discovery is an ongoing process. It doesn’t, or shouldn’t, stop when you’ve reached a particular milestone . . . the eighteenth birthday, getting married, starting your career, having a child. Goals are OK, but life is not about the end game it’s about all that happens before you get there; truly it’s how you play the game that matters. We are on our own journey(s) of discovery, not only about writing but about as much other stuff as we can possibly experience.
In your books, you always explore the enduring relationships between women. In What Doesn’t Kill You, you treat that topic in a different way—both giving due diligence to the bond between mother and daughter and acknowledging a woman’s need to concentrate on herself. This is an especially important theme when it comes to financial well-being. Do you feel that it’s an important message for women specifically?
Women must learn to take care of themselves—not just their families—because in reality, you are actually the only thing you can really count on.
Are any of the characters in the book based on people you know? If so, whom? Do you feel that the best characters are ones that the authors know in real life?
We actually try to avoid using people we know from our lives in our stories—it’s not fair, and we mostly want to keep them as friends! But there’s a lot of Virginia in Tee’s personality and demeanor and way too many of Tee’s experiences. Virginia doesn’t have any children, so no, there was no sleeping with the best man at her daughter’s wedding, but many of Tee’s postemployment dilemmas are ones Virginia knows personally—so we had a great “in-house” resource.
Another important choice of words from Julie comes when she tells Tee, “You know, Tee, you don’t know what’s around the next corner if you don’t turn it.” Are these words that you have often had to say to yourselves? What is so comforting about a close friend assuring you that there will always be unpredictability to life?
It’s hard to be brave all the time. Sometimes it is hard to be brave at all and, without your friends, to remind yourself that you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, that “this too shall pass”—the journey would be so much lonelier and more difficult. We often quote the scene from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid when they’re on the cliff—the posse is hot on their heels. Butch suggests they jump. Sundance says no and is forced to admit he can’t swim. Butch cracks up and says, “Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill us!” Then they hold hands and jump.
You don’t conceal the fact that the friendship between the two of you began with competition, as you were both working in plus-size modeling. Eventually, you developed a successful co-authorship career. Does the strong friendship between Julie and Tee mirror your own? Is there a specific common ground that leads to strong bonds when two people share a competitive past and a common respect for one another?
Mutual respect and trust has got to be at the core of any thriving friendship, and that has always been the case with us. And we established early that although we were competition for one another, the contest would always be fair. Unlike Tee and Julie, professionally we were always on equal footing. Tee started off as more of a role model for Julie. We enjoyed allowing their friendship to grow, so much so that Julie later has lessons to teach Tee. The space to grow and change is a wonderful gift friends can give each other.
Toward the first surge of her new career, Tee mentions that she created a blog with ideas on organization where her readers could ask for tips, ask questions and make comments. Do you find that your own blog (twomindsfull.blogspot.com) is a place where you can connect with your own readers and reach your audience more directly?
We love having our readers connect with us via email, our blog and our MySpace page (myspace.com/twomindsfull)! We post topics that run the gamut from the serious to the ridiculously inane, but our favorite part is reading the comments—and frequently commenting back. We like the immediate, hands-on involvement. And yes, we do monitor our own blog and My-Space page—’cause we get asked that all the time. That’s why we’re sometimes slow to respond—it’s all do-it-ourselves.
Why did you choose the end of the story to be dedicated to the future, the new generation created by Amber and J.J.? How do you feel that our own experiences help shape those of the next generation?
We have loads of readers that are a generation, even two, younger than we are. And we’re always tickled when we hear from them, in great detail we might add, about the things they learn from our books. When you reach a “certain” age, as we have, you have attained a “certain” wisdom—but that’s nothing new, it’s what has been happening with human beings on the planet from the beginning. So as storytellers, we are doing our part in continuing a cycle that’s as old as life itself.
Your books have a great following with women and especially with book clubs. Why do you feel that the lessons you exemplify in your stories speak so loudly to groups and to women? Are either of you in a book club?
We believe that the truth of women’s life experience—family, friends, mates, children, jobs, struggles, joys and everything in between, is a universal experience, one that transcends age or race.
Are you two currently working on another book together? Can you tell us anything about it?
Indeed we are—all we can (will) tell you at the moment is that, like so many of today’s headlines, politics and scandal will be at the heart of the story. Will the past cast its shadow over the present forever?
Next Interview >>
The title of this novel is borrowed from a classic adage, as in many of your other books, including Tryin’ to Sleep in the Bed You Made, Gotta Keep On Tryin’ and Far from the Tree. Why do you use expressions to title your books? Do you seek to reinvent them and make them relevant to our current lives?
We like expressions because they are familiar—whatever walk of life you’re from—and the words are always wise and sum up a situation perfectly. Of course most of us don’t realize that until we experience that 20/20 hindsight for ourselves.
What Doesn’t Kill You reads like a proclamation of independence. Although it’s carried out by a woman, it seems like an important lesson for anyone—the lesson of living and working for your self-satisfaction. How do you feel that you’ve learned that lesson in your own lives? Are your careers as writers part of that self-discovery?
We think self-discovery is an ongoing process. It doesn’t, or shouldn’t, stop when you’ve reached a particular milestone . . . the eighteenth birthday, getting married, starting your career, having a child. Goals are OK, but life is not about the end game it’s about all that happens before you get there; truly it’s how you play the game that matters. We are on our own journey(s) of discovery, not only about writing but about as much other stuff as we can possibly experience.
In your books, you always explore the enduring relationships between women. In What Doesn’t Kill You, you treat that topic in a different way—both giving due diligence to the bond between mother and daughter and acknowledging a woman’s need to concentrate on herself. This is an especially important theme when it comes to financial well-being. Do you feel that it’s an important message for women specifically?
Women must learn to take care of themselves—not just their families—because in reality, you are actually the only thing you can really count on.
Are any of the characters in the book based on people you know? If so, whom? Do you feel that the best characters are ones that the authors know in real life?
We actually try to avoid using people we know from our lives in our stories—it’s not fair, and we mostly want to keep them as friends! But there’s a lot of Virginia in Tee’s personality and demeanor and way too many of Tee’s experiences. Virginia doesn’t have any children, so no, there was no sleeping with the best man at her daughter’s wedding, but many of Tee’s postemployment dilemmas are ones Virginia knows personally—so we had a great “in-house” resource.
Another important choice of words from Julie comes when she tells Tee, “You know, Tee, you don’t know what’s around the next corner if you don’t turn it.” Are these words that you have often had to say to yourselves? What is so comforting about a close friend assuring you that there will always be unpredictability to life?
It’s hard to be brave all the time. Sometimes it is hard to be brave at all and, without your friends, to remind yourself that you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, that “this too shall pass”—the journey would be so much lonelier and more difficult. We often quote the scene from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid when they’re on the cliff—the posse is hot on their heels. Butch suggests they jump. Sundance says no and is forced to admit he can’t swim. Butch cracks up and says, “Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill us!” Then they hold hands and jump.
You don’t conceal the fact that the friendship between the two of you began with competition, as you were both working in plus-size modeling. Eventually, you developed a successful co-authorship career. Does the strong friendship between Julie and Tee mirror your own? Is there a specific common ground that leads to strong bonds when two people share a competitive past and a common respect for one another?
Mutual respect and trust has got to be at the core of any thriving friendship, and that has always been the case with us. And we established early that although we were competition for one another, the contest would always be fair. Unlike Tee and Julie, professionally we were always on equal footing. Tee started off as more of a role model for Julie. We enjoyed allowing their friendship to grow, so much so that Julie later has lessons to teach Tee. The space to grow and change is a wonderful gift friends can give each other.
Toward the first surge of her new career, Tee mentions that she created a blog with ideas on organization where her readers could ask for tips, ask questions and make comments. Do you find that your own blog (twomindsfull.blogspot.com) is a place where you can connect with your own readers and reach your audience more directly?
We love having our readers connect with us via email, our blog and our MySpace page (myspace.com/twomindsfull)! We post topics that run the gamut from the serious to the ridiculously inane, but our favorite part is reading the comments—and frequently commenting back. We like the immediate, hands-on involvement. And yes, we do monitor our own blog and My-Space page—’cause we get asked that all the time. That’s why we’re sometimes slow to respond—it’s all do-it-ourselves.
Why did you choose the end of the story to be dedicated to the future, the new generation created by Amber and J.J.? How do you feel that our own experiences help shape those of the next generation?
We have loads of readers that are a generation, even two, younger than we are. And we’re always tickled when we hear from them, in great detail we might add, about the things they learn from our books. When you reach a “certain” age, as we have, you have attained a “certain” wisdom—but that’s nothing new, it’s what has been happening with human beings on the planet from the beginning. So as storytellers, we are doing our part in continuing a cycle that’s as old as life itself.
Your books have a great following with women and especially with book clubs. Why do you feel that the lessons you exemplify in your stories speak so loudly to groups and to women? Are either of you in a book club?
We believe that the truth of women’s life experience—family, friends, mates, children, jobs, struggles, joys and everything in between, is a universal experience, one that transcends age or race.
Are you two currently working on another book together? Can you tell us anything about it?
Indeed we are—all we can (will) tell you at the moment is that, like so many of today’s headlines, politics and scandal will be at the heart of the story. Will the past cast its shadow over the present forever?
