A. I've delivered newspapers, worked in my dad's children's shoe store, I wrote animated series, game shows, variety shows, TV commercials, and webisodes.
A. My favorite job was writing for The Rosie O'Donnell Show for five years; every morning was a blank slate to fill with funny stuff. A great challenge!
A. Francis Lewis High School in Flushing, New York, then Queens College in (you guessed it) Queens
A. I really enjoy James Taylor.
A. My all-time favorite movie is The Jerk (with Steve Martin). Okay, you can joke about that if you want.
A. My favorite TV show is Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO.
A. Wonderful family, grateful doing what I enjoy most.
A. Keep reading, keep laughing.
A. Perfect happiness is the moment when all my kids have done their homework and are busy with pre-bedtime activities that are personally satisfying and enriching for them, yet not overly noisy. I've never actually experienced that moment, but I hear it's wonderful.
A. My greatest fear is that each of my kids won't do all they can to maximize their incredible potential.
A. Cooperstown, at the Baseball Hall of Fame. Never been there, but have always wanted to go.
A. I have great affection for many humorists who are no longer with us; notably Jack Benny and Steve Allen
A. Not one living person; five. My wife Rose and our four kids.
A. Clean your room. No one listens.
A. I regret not brushing my teeth better as a kid. I now know if you just wet the toothbrush at bedtime, it doesn't actually help your teeth.
A. I'd love to be more musical. I don't play any instruments, and wish I could.
A. My greatest achievement is developing the ability to make people laugh.
A. My greatest flaw is procrastination. Can I tell you more about this later?
A. My best quality is my ability the humor in any situation.
A. I would be me. It's all I know how to do.
A. My bushy eyebrows and bushy smile.
A. The joker
A. I'd like to meet Abner Doubleday and thank him for inventing baseball. I'd also sing him songs from "Going, Going, Gone," 'cause I get the sense he'd love parody tunes about sports.
A. Bad, inconsiderate drivers.
A. Writing is pretty much all I do.
A. As a writer, I'm living my fantasy profession.
A. The ability to laugh, the ability to laugh, and the ability to laugh.
A. My favorite song is "American Pie." I have 4,235 choices for spots 2 through 5.
A. My favorite authors are Dan Gutman, Andrew Clements and Elise Broach.
A. I figure I've read well over 3,000 books; while there's no way pick the five best, it's usually true my favorite book is the NEXT one I'm going to read. In general, I love reading biographies and books about sports and entertainment.
A. The Almanac. I crave information, and there's so such of it in there. I buy a new almanac every year!
A. Write every day, whether it's a sentence or a novel, make sure you write something.
A. My readers ask when I'm going to write a chapter book; I tell them I'm working on it (which I am!).