My Life in 8 Words
Q. What is your motto or maxim?
A. If at first you don't succeed, keep trying and trying and trying until you've driven everyone around you completely insane.
Q. What is your greatest achievement?
A. Getting up out of bed every morning.
Q. With whom in history do you most identify?
A. Napolean. No, wait a minute, change that -- Lucille Ball.
Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?
A. People who text-message while driving. Actually, that's more than a "peeve" -- I'm terrified of these people. "Peeve"...? People who, upon getting to the top of the subway stairwell, stop in their tracks and start texting. In fact, I'll just simply it: Texting. First of all, "text" is a noun, not a verb, you goobers! Secondly, it's a drug! It's addictive! Thirdly, it rots your brain, makes you stupid. Stop doing it!!!
Q. What’s your fantasy profession?